Thursday, December 11, 2008

One Week and One Day

8 days from now we'll be signing our lives away to the mortgage company. I feel like this is just a crazy damned time to be buying a house, but it got us a good deal and a low interest rate, so I have to just be thankful.

It's hard for me to make any kind of serious commitment. I just don't like it. Heck, I even have trouble sometimes deciding what to eat for dinner! Should I go with the new entree that sounds interesting and delicious, or stick with my tried-and-true favorite that I know will satisfy me? (In case you're wondering, I almost always go the safe route and get the same thing)

I've been trying very hard not to let myself panic over all this. I love this house. I know we will be happy there. I think it's a good investment. We aren't being crazy and buying more than we can afford - in fact, we're being very prudent. I know that we're financially capable of making the payments and still having money left over for those crazy things that seem to crop up at the last minute.

To be honest, I could have had $100k in the bank before we started this process and I'd still be crazy. It's never enough.

Sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind and take a chance. I don't know why, in my wise old age, I'm getting so conservative. I used to risk everything - all the time, for a little glimpse of fun or happiness. I guess maybe that's growing up. It kinda sucks.

So I'm hanging on... a little bit not dealing with the house, but a little bit of secretly planning how we'll decorate for Christmas next year, where my dishes and pots and silverware will go in the kitchen, what color tile I'll want in the bathrooms, where the heck all my clothes will go since our closet is the size of a small suitcase.

This is exciting, and terrifying, and awesome.

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